Freak Show
by ReadingAddictWeirdo
Summary: Carlos watched a show yesterday. Ensue crack and sombreros the next day.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Big Time Rush.

**Freak Show**

"Carlos, stop whimpering," hissed James. He peeled his hand away from the small boy's hip, and placed it on his cheek, causing for Carlos to look at him in both fear and surprise. "Come on, this isn't hard," he whispered almost fiercely. "All you have to do is wriggle until I can move again." Then a bit of venom infused his voice, "But I swear to God, Carlos, if you do anything that's going to get us stuck, you're dead. Got it?"

Carlos shook his head, slightly afraid at the words his friend had just uttered. "I don't wanna get stuck, James," he sobbed. "I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna…"

"Carlos, can you please shut up? I'm trying to do this right, and if you keep talking you'll confuse me, and then we really _will_ get stuck!" cried James. He huffed out an annoyed breath as he felt Carlos' body shake a vague 'okay'. James took in a calmer, deep breath, and resumed moving edgily as Carlos wriggled.

All the while, Carlos thought how painful it would be; being stuck in this position forever. He moaned at the bubbling pain as James twisted his body, insides churning with hundreds of cramps. Finally, he felt that pressure on his stomach disappear; he groaned in relief, bringing his free hand up to his face and wiping away the cold sweat on his forehead. About to ask James if they were even half safe now, he was stopped by a sudden light blinding his eyes and James' body starting to sway. They both fell to the ground, tense bones painfully unwinding.

"What the heck are you guys doing?" Kendall's voice was loud and questionable. He stared down at the two groaning boys, quirking an eyebrow.

"It was his fault!" responded the boys in synchronization, pointing at each other with accusing fingers.

Carlos was the first one to sit up, followed by James. The raven grunted as he felt a back bone snap. He craned his neck, and looked up at the curious blonde, throwing him a bashful look. "I-it's not what you think," he said. James, quickly catching on at what Carlos was hinting at, blushed furiously and slapped the short boy on the back of his head. Carlos squeaked at the unforeseen blow. "I-I mean we were–"

"Never mind, guys. You can tell me later." Shaking his head, he left without another word.

James moaned, "We are never doing that _ever_ again."

"Why not?" whined Carlos.

"We could have died, Carlos! Plus, what kind of moron comes up with that?" said James with that famous over-dramatic voice of his.

The raven rolled his eyes. "I was pretty sure it was going to work. Maybe it's because you're so tall. You could try crouching down next time."

"Next time is never happening," said James, utterly shocked at the boy's words. How could he have the nerve?

Carlos stuck his bottom lip out, widening his eyes to make them two times bigger their size. "Come on, dude. I bet this time it'll work. Please, please, please!" Again, he got the same reply: a firm 'No'. "Fine!" Furrowing his eyebrows, he lost the puppy look, replacing it with a deep, annoyed frown. "I don't need you. I'll just ask Logan this time! At least _he_ can't resist the puppy face. Plus, he's shorter. It'll definitely work with him," he said cheekily. With that he turned around and left James behind, ignoring his comments about how Logan would totally reject him.

Once in apartment 2J, Carlos found the pale boy talking on the phone in the kitchen. Not bothering to be courteous and wait until his friend was done with his call, he walked straight towards him, snatched the house phone from his hand, pressed the 'End' button and threw it across the living room. Logan's jaw immediately dropped, eyes widening. Not knowing what damage he just caused, Carlos smiled innocently, preparing to give his puppy face look when Logan's fit of anger would tone down.

"Y-you– What– _Huh?_ Carlos! Do you know what you just did right now?" shouted Logan. "You just hanged up on my parents! How the– _Dude! _That's not cool!"

Carlos nodded and 'mhm-ed', pretending he cared. "Anyway, I have this cool idea that stupid James didn't want to do with me. Will _you_ join me?"

Logan's conniption was half-way over, so now he was just huffing and looking like a red-nosed reindeer. "Oh, my God." He squeezed his eyes shut, pinched the bridge of his nose, and took deep breaths. When he felt the last bit of anger drain from his mind, he opened his eyes and stared at the now-pouting Carlos with a straight face. "What do you want, Carlos."

The raven grinned. "First we need duct tape."

At the last two words, the taller boy's eyes bulged slightly. Clearing his throat, he asked timidly, "For what?"

"You'll see," replied Carlos, giggling.

**ooo**

"You're so stupid, Carlos! No, I'm the stupid one. I must have been drunk when I agreed to this—this atrocity!" yelled Logan.

"I really thought it was going to work this time," cried Carlos. "My butt hurts, Logan!"

"Carlos, can you calm down? Can you stop acting like a mad man for just a second? If you keep it up we're going to fall! And we're gonna die!" Logan began hyperventilating, thinking of all the bad things that could happen in a nanosecond. Of course, being with Carlos, who kept whining with a greatly irritating, high-pitched voice just made him crazier. "STOP IT! JUST–"

A sudden white light caused for Logan's next words to evaporate. He turned around slowly, and found Kendall staring at them with raised eyebrows and a slightly open mouth. But instead of an explanation, the brunette ran out. "I'm free! I'm free! I'm not dead! It's a miracle… I'M FREE!" And as he screamed while laughing like a raving lunatic, he ran in circles in the lobby, sprinted out, and jumped into the pool, yelling out a maniacal 'WOOHOO!'

Kendall turned back around and gave Carlos an extreme 'what fuck look'. "_Again?_ What are you trying to do, Carlos?"

Carlos bit his lip. "Well, I saw this cartoon yesterday were a kid got inside a box and duct taped it shut from the inside. Then he said this really cool chant and after he was transported to this awesome-looking land called Happy Meadows! I wanted to try it, but I didn't want to go alone. But I knew if I told James or Logan that, they wouldn't believe me; so, instead, I told them it was a cool magic trick that I learned. So far it's not working. Wanna join me, Kendall? I bet this time it'll work for sure!" He was jumping up and down with a radiant smile plastered on his face.

Kendall was absolutely dumbfounded, never knowing Carlos was really this gullible. Pushing aside the mental question of how the heck Carlos had acquired a _very_ tall and _very_ large box, he said slowly, "You do realize…that it was a cartoon."

"Yeah, so?"

"A _cartoon_, Carlos. What you just said is impossible."

Carlos narrowed his eyes. "YOU WON'T STOP ME FROM GOING TO HAPPY MEADOWS, KENDALL KNIGHT!" With that he stepped inside the box and closed it. He took out the roll of duct that had been tucked in his undershirt, and reapplied a new coat of duct tape.

On the outside, Kendall was blinking heavily, astonished. "IT'S A BOX, CARLOS!" he yelled, throwing his hands in the air. "A BOX!"

"I can't hear you! LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA!"

Annoyed, Kendall grabbed the top sides of the box and dragged it across the hallway. And as he did this, he could hear Carlos chanting, then squeaking in surprise, actually thinking that the box was moving by itself and transporting him to Happy Meadows. "Oh, I'll show you Happy Meadows, alright," mumbled Kendall as he placed the box in the elevator and pressed the button that led to the highest floor. He stepped out, and watched the doors close. Smirking, he waved and said, "Have a nice trip, Carlos!"

As the elevator started to ascend, he listened to Carlos' ecstatic shouts about how he couldn't wait to meet the sombrero-wearing deer, the flying crocodiles with rainbow mustaches, a singing sun, and other incoherent stuff that Kendall wasn't able to catch.

Five minutes later, when Carlos finally figured out that he had been boarded onto the elevator, he punched his way out of the box and stepped out onto the hallway. With a twitching eye, he made a quick trip to his room to retrieve an item, then stomped his way down the stairs until he reached the lobby and spotted Kendall talking to Guitar Dude.

"I'm still wondering if he's figured out that he's just in an elevator. You should've heard him. He was talking about these deer with sombreros, flying crocodiles, and a Spanish-singing sun that was in a mariachi band!"

Carlos growled low in his throat. "Kendall," he said, loud enough for the laughing blonde to hear.

Immediately, Kendall ceased. He craned his neck and stared at Carlos, a smirk appearing on his lips. "Oh, hey Carlitos. Did you have a good time at Happy Meadows?"

"Dude, I heard there was a singing mariachi sun! How was it?" asked Guitar Dude.

The corner of Carlos' lips twitched. "Don't know because I never met him." His cocked his head to the side, made his voice sound innocent, "But you know what? I'm even more upset that I didn't get to meet the sombrero deer. It would've been awesome. So, Kendall, since you tricked me, _you're_ going to be my deer."

Kendall's brows furrowed. "What?"

"You tricked me, so now it's payback!" shouted Carlos. He ran towards the shocked blonde, pounced on him and pinned him down to the floor. From his jeans pocket he took out a tiny sombrero that had a piece of a green, elastic cord attached to it. Under him, Kendall was struggling, but Carlos quickly put the sombrero on his head and slipped the elastic cord under his chin.

"Carlos, what the heck!" screamed Kendall.

The raven boy frowned down at him. "Not fair, Kendall! You put me in the stupid elevator, and made me think that I was really going to Happy Meadows! And then when I realized I wasn't, I got out of the box! Too bad the elevator doors were open because I ended up falling on this really cute girl, and she probably hates me now! You cost me a cute girl _and_ a trip to Happy Meadows, Kendall Knight! Now _you're_ going to be my deer."

"What if I'm not?" said Kendall, scowling deeply at the pouting Carlos.

Carlos smiled; a very wicked smile. "Then you'll be very, very sorry. Remember when you spilled lemonade on your pants and–"

"No! NO! CARLOS, PLEASE NOT THAT! SHUT UP!" Kendall's eyes were wide, face instantly turning a tomato red. "OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, I'LL BE YOUR DAMN SOMBRERO DEER! JUST DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT!"

Squeaking out a joyful 'yay', Carlos stood up and let Kendall get on all fours. Then he sat on the boy's back, smacked his butt, yelling, "ONWARD, MY FAITHFUL SOMBRERO DEER!"

"Don't do that," hissed Kendall. "Or I swear I'll buck you into space."

"Sorry."

And so, Kendall spent the next hour carrying Carlos around on his back, crawling on all fours and getting laughed at by everyone. When they arrived at 2J, James and Logan were eating lunch, both choking on their nuggets when they saw their arriving friends.

"What the…" James trailed off, half shocked, half scared.

"What is…" Logan couldn't speak either.

Carlos grinned happily. "Kendall's my sombrero deer! And tomorrow he's going to be my Spanish-singing mariachi sun!"

Kendall's eyes went wide. "WHAT? That's not fair! I'm already the laughing stock of the whole Palm Woods! I'm not going to be wearing a sun costume! Besides, I don't even know how to speak Spanish!"

"Oh, you don't?" taunted Carlos. "That's okay. Because remember the lemonade–"

"OKAY, OKAY, I'LL BE YOUR SHINING, SINGING SUN!" screamed Kendall, almost to the point of crying.

"Good. Bring me to my room, sombrero deer," commanded Carlos. And Kendall did.

When the door was shut, James and Logan looked at each other. "You don't think this has something to do with that box magic trick?" question Logan. "Or maybe Carlos hypnotized Kendall… But…" He gave a blank stare, trying to make sense of what just happened.

James shook his head and sighed as he rested his chin on his hand, sneaking a nugget from Logan's plate and popping it in his mouth. "I don't even know anymore. But that sombrero was pretty cool." He beamed with curiosity. "I wonder where Kendall got it."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **This was really fun to write. Mostly because I rarely use caps. And caps means screaming. Really loud. And for some reason, I find it hilarious when people scream really loud. Haha. :D


End file.
